#48 - Thoughtful Post No.1 - Why I Run

Link

*Taking cue from the Oatmeal's comic about why he runs, I thought it is best for me to post on why I run as well. It's a long story, so please bear with me on this one.

I believe that for many of us, if not for most of us, we need something, like an idea, or a thought, or a belief, or an activity, that we can hold on to, that we can put all of our energy and attention into, just so that we can make sense of why we are here. It's an existentialist crisis that I have been grappling with, and therefore I truly believe in such concept. I even have a metaphor for it: the waiting room. (We're all sitting in a waiting room, at a clinic, or a hospital - doesn't matter - and while waiting for our turn to go and meet the doctor, we do things to amuse ourselves, like flipping through the magazine (and a side note: it seems like all waiting rooms have terrible reading materials as if the people who made the waiting room hate the very people that they are holding up), or watching the TV (if there is one), or just sit and stare at all the other sickly people in desperate need of a health boost.)

And so, applying that metaphor to the real world, I see people go to war, shop for trendy clothes, have sex with gonorrhea-infested prostitute, gamble, jump off a flying airplane with parachute on their back, eat live octopus, pay ridiculous amount of money for a 'supposedly' exclusive house in an exclusive neighbourhood, ingest copious amount of designer drugs, and for some people like me: they run - just as a way to amuse themselves as they shuffle through this mortal coil called 'living' before death come calling. That is all the purpose to our sorry existence.

This entry is about why I run.

Three years ago, I met this girl. Admittedly, she was not the prettiest girl but she has a character that I really like, and after a while we became best friend. She was fun to be around - we had a lot of things to talk about, something that I imagine was an impossibility because I'm not very much the conversationalist type of person. It was, to put it simply, magical.

But at the same time as well, I was quite plump. A fat bastard if you may. So in early 2010, I decided to go for a jog every night at a sport complex near where I live. This decision, mind you, was made independent of me meeting this girl. It was a decision made because I got tired of being fat. (Get it? Tired of being fat. Ha!) So I started to jog, every night, with the outright intention of losing some weight and to stay in shape. I dream of the leaner body that I used to have when I weigh somewhere in mid-70 kilo. I never intended on taking running seriously. I wasn't even aware of the fact that there are people who take running seriously.

Well hello there...

Fast forward a few months later, with me still trudging slowly around the track doing 4 rounds maximum, every night, things start to become serious between this girl and I. We were taking the relationship to the next level. Or the second base. Or whatever else you call - I have no idea. We texted feverishly almost every day and every waking hour.

We were madly in love.

And since it's two grown-ups who are in a steady relationship that we are talking about here, normally the topic of settling down becomes a regular feature in our discourse. I was madly in love with this girl, so I was ready to dive in. (Ready to dive in? Easy there, tiger.) She too seemingly was taking the whole issue quite seriously. I thought: this is it.

You know that when you're in a relationship, you will occasionally have this little bug called tiff? So the same goes between me and this girl - the small ones. I take it as a sign that we both had a good relationship because little fights like this actually brings people even closer. But little did I know that this tiff would actually snowball to something very big...

If there is one thing about being in a relationship that I never get to fully master, or completely clueless about, is how to make the relationship last. I'll freely admit it - I'm a failure. I still am. If this is like doing your degree at a university, I am now into my extended ninth semester and graduation is almost definitely a no-hoper.

So one thing lead to another, and this girl started to distance herself from me. I can feel it - there was no more that intimacy, or even friendliness in the tone of her text, or in phone calls, and when we meet occasionally, I can see that she has built an invisible wall between us. It was painful.

And much, much more painful because I did not know exactly how and where it went wrong.

One day, I receive a text asking me to come over to her house because she wanted to return something to me. (She had borrowed something from me earlier) So I drove over to her house (she was staying with her parents), we had a little chat but she was very distant and very cold, it was very awkward. Incidentally, all of this difficult phase that I was going through did not stop me from going for my nightly jog. I still jog because it's the only time and place and thing that makes me feel like a sane person. Even for a while.

Then the text stopped coming in. For good. I knew by then that the relationship was over. It was very cruel of her to just switch me off like that, but I probably deserve it. I have done the same thing myself to other people. How stupid of me. That was when I got to one of the lowest point in my life. I started to have existential crisis again. But then...

This is what we call a foreshadowing

A few months later, I learned through my officemate that this girl has got engaged with another guy and they are going to get married in three month's time. That was when I blew my head off.

I was properly, savagely, furiously, pissed off. I was pissed off at her, at myself, at every single living and breathing human being. I got angry with the whole world. Every morning on my drive to work, whenever I see a fellow driver in another car, I will mutter: "fuck you". When I queue up at the cafe to get my lunch, I will curse at every single person in front of me for being slow and indecisive. Even watching shows that I love (Top Gear UK being one) has lost its fun. The jokes are no longer funny. I have become, in every sense of the word: the grumpy cat.

Fuck you too, little-known blogger that nobody gives a fuck about

In all that anger, my existential crisis too comes about hard and fast. I could no longer muster a single reason as to why I should continue living.

All of this while, while I was nursing my hurt feeling, the jogging still continues. But somehow through all this anger and pain, I had only started to increase the intensity of my jog - and I went from jogging to actually running. The tiredness and being out of breath at the end of the run makes me feel alive. That's how it was like for two months - first begin with a slow jog, then when the pain kicks in, I increase the intensity of my jog. Every time a painful thought pops up, I pick up my speed. And long before I knew it - I am actually running. I was no longer jogging. That was when I realized that anger is an extraordinary boost of energy. Not even a Powerbar gel comes close to it because the energy boost is immediate and lasts much longer.

It feels addictive - but in a good way because this fix makes me feel good (or relieved - like after taking a huge dump), and it makes me healthier. So I started to run instead of jogging, and to cut a long story short (not that it's not a very short story to begin with), I started to take run seriously. I joined races, I pay attention to my training regime, my daily food intake, my choice of running shoes, and the amount of time that I clock every time I go for a run.

Suddenly my life has a meaning again. Running has given my life a meaning. Now, more than ever, I enjoy and revel in my running, and hence out of that it gave birth to this blog - and this blog too has now become a part of the meaning to my life. This is the only thing that keeps me going strong nowadays. There are times when I reflected upon the question: "Is there any more reason as to why I should keep on living?"

And I always come up with: "At least I can still run."

#47 - Current Earstuffer: Deafheaven's Sunbather

This fucking destroys.

#46 - The Oatmeal, on Running

If there is ever a single person to ask me why I run, perhaps I could just direct them to this link of a great comic website by Matthew Inman called The Oatmeal. Or if you're runner yourself and is currently in search of your running muse - you're welcome.

Click away.

#45 - Seremban Half Marathon 2013

Yes - yes, the Seremban Half has happened last weekend, and, to go straight to the point, my aim was very simple, yet a tricky one - improve on my PR of 2:04.44 which I had set last year here at Seremban. Since my other 21k races (PJ and Brooks) ends in a rather disappointing time, I truly believed that this sleepy town in the south would be the best place to do so.

I arrived at the hotel at around 1 p.m., checked-in, got to my room, and quickly had lunch at a vegetarian restaurant beside a 7-Eleven store. It's an easy choice really, in spite it being ran by (what I suspect) devout Buddhists, because number one: it's vegetarian, it's the healthier choice (then the obvious mamak restaurant), and it's very cheap. Surprisingly cheap. You can never go wrong with that.

After lunch only then I walked all the way to the Majlis Perbandaran Seremban building to collect my race pack. Safe to say that I am not disappointed - a Brooks dry fit vest, a bottle of lime-flavored Gatorade, a sample bottle of Shokubutsu Active Guard Sporty Fresh shower foam (my, my - what a handful), a sample packet of Salonpas medicated plaster (though how very weak I thought it felt), and a RM120 cash rebate voucher for Brooks running shoes.

Raya in a Brooks running shoe? Why not.

To all the forever lonely hearts out there, rejoice! This is the loneliest event promotion banner... in the world.

The one thing that I noticed about this year's race is the great lack in promotion. The website is not updated. A walk around Seremban harbors not even a single bunting or singages to announce the public about the event. Don't even think about overhead gantry matrix signboard displaying message about road closures or whatnot. The only promotional material that I found is a solitary poster, albeit a huge one, near the Pasar Besar.

That's it.

Anyway, on with the race. So, did I manage to improve on my PR? Oh yes - I sure did...

...all point-nought-three seconds of it.

Yes, that is all.

Hah!

"Never mind", I said to myself. Remembering that the Seremban also is the most generous with free gifts (from lucky draw), perhaps I could win something big, like a house like that lucky guy from the inaugural race.

So I convinced myself.

As I crossed the finishing line, receiving my certificate of participation, the finisher's medal, and my lucky draw ticket, I quickly made way for the super-long line for the lucky draw counter - thirst be damned. As I was standing in the queue, I saw one paraplegic guy in a wheelchair wheeling away in delight holding a brand-new Brooks dry fit shirt. "He got that from the lucky draw!" I know that I could go for something of similar type of prize as well. Daddy's feeling lucky today! Woo!

I... I spoke too soon.

Not even my winning pre-race stance helped. Damn...

#44 - The Mines Charity Run 2013 + New Balance Minimus Trail Zero

Yes, yes - despite the quasi-barefoot shoe that is featured up there, I still can't go sockless. It's... yucky.

The Race

This year's edition of The Mines Charity Run is my second time joining, and I believe is also the second edition, with 2012 being the inaugural race, and I'm happy to report that there are a lot of changes (good ones) that has been made. The only not-so-good part of it is the race shirt: a pseudo dry fit shirt that only absorbs all your sweat and weigh you down as you eat up the kilometer.

Not good. So I had to wear my own shirt.

Do I... do I... look raring to go, or retarded here?

The good part of the race however is the new route, which snakes through the housing area of Taman Sungai Besi Indah, which was for the most part... refreshing. Away from the traffic, the run was mostly idyllic. The road was mostly narrow, however.

Then at the end of the race, unlike last year's in which only the top 100 receives a finisher's medal and certificate, all runners got their medal and cert. The medal is fucking huge.

Pictured here eating away on one side of the bib, trying to get to the Subway voucher...

And as pictured above, those are all the things that you receive at the end of the race. Except for the Subway voucher, which is a really nice touch, where it was given at random to a lucky 500 runners only.

Holy shit, I'm one of the lucky runners!

Breakfast was also provided, which, just like last year's, is a packet of nasi lemak. Quite good though. And, making a usual appearance at the end of many races is the ever-popular Milo truck, giving away cups of refreshing cold Milo.

Thank youuu...

A surprising inclusion though, was this:

You can now enjoy your post-race recovery with a nice warm cup of non-fairly traded capitalism brew!

Good coffee though. (Spoiler alert: not a coffee lover)

The Shoe

First of all, a caveat: don't be fooled by the name, for that even though it is known as the Minimus Trail Zero, only two of the adjectives are true, while one falls short of expectation. The Minimus name is synonymous among New Balance users/owners with a line of minimalist shoes that are designed to offer a much more 'engaging' running experience to the runner. The shoe that I have here, as pictured above, certainly fits the minimalist bill here, and pretty impressively. Weighing at 4.4 ounces, it's among the lightest running shoe that you can buy right now.

The rubber lugs on the outsole provides a lot of feedback and feel from the ground so running in this feels almost like the real thing - running barefooted. But that then is where the nature of my complain rests: the excellent ground feel is contributed by the lack of a rock plate and, not that I am an authority of trail running, but knowing how rugged the Malaysian trail could be, running around in a shoe with a rock plate is heaven sent. This shoe, if one is not careful, could end one runner's race in blood.

However, as a road running shoe that offers a near-barefoot feel, this shoe performs admirably. But then again, there is one more thing about this shoe that I have to type in here: it feels ordinary, it feels understated, there is nothing special or remarkable about the shoe. It's just some shoe, and it's pretty forgettable. There is no part of the shoe that stands out and makes it feel special.

It's a pedestrian, hackneyed, mediocre, humdrum, insipid, bromidic, old hat, platitudinous footwear. And it's endemic to all their running shoes as well. It's no wonder then that, in spite of their tireless promotion, New Balance in Malaysia remains relatively obscure.

#43 - Standard Chartered Fun Run 2013 + Saucony Virrata

Yes - yes, the feverishly-awaited Saucony Virrata is finally in my hands.

The Race

It's a fun run, it's only 8km long, and it's held at Putrajaya in conjunction with World Youth Day. Oh, and Putrajaya is flat-lying, mostly. So there you go.

The Shoe

So, a word of thank you to Royal Sporting House for bringing in this shoe to this side of the world as it is now (I believe) widely available at all RSH-operated stores. Bought mine at Running Lab in Tropicana City Mall, but I saw the shoe at Stadium in Pavillion as well, so that's that.

It costs RM299. Cheap.

Before I proceed any further on the shoe, I should inform once again the root to my excitement towards the Virrata: before the Saucony blog announced the development of their new zero-drop shoe, the Kinvara was the only shoe that I reserve the highest praise to. It's like discovering a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow lodged somewhere within the fjords of Norway. It's the epicenter of perfectly-designed, flawless perfection. Much like Jennifer Lawrence.

Perfection!

The way everyone should see the Virrata is that it is the lighter, stripped-down, lower-profiled version of the Kinvara. And why not, because the two shoes are basically engineered and built using the same blueprint, and carrying the same DNA. But the biggest difference between the two goes down to the outsole.

Constructed mostly of deeply-carved moderately-soft foam (EVA+), it's very flexible, unlike the Kinvara which is a bit more rigid. Though it has high-durable rubber on the heel (XT-900) and the forefoot, where most wear usually occurs, it will be of little importance to me because I'm quite the heavy underpronator. So I'm expecting the much-softer exposed foam to wear out quicker than I would like it to.

Although Saucony markets this shoe as a zero-drop shoe, the amount of padding (or cushioning) that you get from the sole unit, all 18mm of foam, it somehow doesn't feel like it is completely level. But that's just me though as countless other professional reviews has confirmed the zero-drop claim as true.

Otherwise, to recap, this shoe is light, is pretty responsive, generously cushioned but not too much that it kills my pace, and is very flexible so as to somehow closely mimic the 'barefoot' feel. Of course, when I say mimic, it doesn't at all feel anywhere near barefoot-like. Ground feel is pretty much muted. But what you're lacking in that department is completely made up with responsive cushioning. As much as I love the Merrell Bare Access, I don't think I'd be able to do 21km in that shoe. My leg will tire sooner than I'd like it to. The Virrata though feels like a perfect candidate to take me on a much longer run.

Apart from that, my only complain regarding the shoe is the lacing system, which harks back to the lacing system of Kinvara 2 - it's kind of complicated. I don't feel like I could get a secure fit with the lacing system, although 8km of considerably high-paced running on a Sunday morning in Putarjaya has proved otherwise.

Final verdict? Barring the lacing system, the Virrata is a brilliant shoe.

#42 - Milo Malaysia Breakfast Day Run 2013 + Merrell Bare Access

Oh wow - it has been quite some time, isn't it? Ah well, since my inner muse is still vacationing in Timbuktu or somewhere, I have to make this a short entry, so I'm doing a two-for-one entry this time around. As the title suggests, this post will be about the Milo Breakfast Day Run at UPM Serdang, and my review of the Merrell Bare Access (the old model).

The Race

UPM, being UPM, and speaking from my experience with the 2011 edition of the Mizuno Wave Run, the route was unforgiving all the way. First there was a slight inclination, then a big drop, then a slight inclination, then a very big climb, then a gradual decline, then a climb... you get the idea.

Oh and how I have come to totally not enjoying routes with loops (thanks to Brooks Half Marathon). The psychological stress of seeing people running ahead of you running just beside you heading on the opposite direction can be very overwhelming at times.

Apart from the race, which was neatly organized (it's in UPM anyway so it should be pretty controllable), the breakfast though was far from satisfying. Or healthy. Or properly prepared. Or priced proportionately. Or palatable. I bought a packet of nasi dagang, which has the consistency of pulut, and it came with a packet of kari ayam, which was super oily.

It's shit.

The free Milo though was excellent.

The Shoe

It's awesome.

Lightweight, lots of ground feel but with a hint of protection (so if you stepped on a small rock you'll feel it prickling your feet, but you won't get a cut), and despite built as a quasi-barefoot shoe with not much else between your feet and the ground, the foam on the outsole does provide a decent amount of cushioning as well.

But largely because it is lightweight. Oh mama do my feet fly in those!

My only complain with this shoe is the outsole - since it's straight-up foam and not entirely covered (or protected) with high resistant rubber, I have a feeling that this shoe will wear out pretty quickly. I have seen the latest incarnation of the Bare Access, and this time Vibram rubber covers the entire outsole, which should help with wear. But because Vibram's are quite weighty on its own, I have a feeling that it will add a bit to the weight of the shoe...

And it is! The old Bare Access tips the scale at 5.6 oz, while the Bare Access 2 weighs in at 6.2 oz. Small difference, but when you're running in the shoe, that small number makes a world of difference.

Apart from that small issue, this is a very good shoe. Proper barefoot runners may disagree with me, but I am just a newbie runner who only just recently started to convert to natural running form, so this shoe works the best for me as an introduction to natural running.

(Runner's World did an article about natural running, but it is known as Qi running. Too 'new age' for me.)

#41 - Kuala Lumpur 10K Road Race: a Question Posed

I should point out first of all that as an educator, I truly believe in the notion of 'there is no such thing as stupid question'. But lo and behold, expect human ingenuity to triumph in the face of it as it once again prove that none should go gentle into that goodnight...

(The real meaning to that phrase has lost me)

While on the way to getting my race shirt for the KL10K Road Race at the OCM Building, a man posed me an incredulous question. Note: read the following question in a condescending tone.

"Kenapa ramai betul orang masuk larian ni? Apa yang best sangat masuk larian ni? Ada menang keta [his pronunciation] BMW ke?"

Words fail me.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

#40 - Boston Marathon explosion - and will it change the sport from now onward?

It was supposed to be a glorious day for many marathoners and runners, as well as fellow Bostonian,  as we all celebrate the 117th edition of the oldest marathon race in the world. What was not foreseen however was two separate, deadly explosions taking place near the finishing line down the Boylston street. Amidst all the confusion and sadness, and anger, brings me to a question I never thought I would ask in regards to with a marathon, or running, race.

Sports, as in an ideal world should be, should bring us all together in a sportsmanship-camaraderie that knows no bounds of gender, skin colour, religion background, or political leaning. I've seen how the backlash was like towards marathoners (in general) in the aftermath of hurricane Sandy that took out last year's New York marathon. I fear that we runners might all be in a bubble.

Now that this horrifying and totally shocking event took place at what was supposed to be a celebration of the triumph of human spirit and togetherness, what will the next, and future, running races look like? Will it still be the same as it is?

Or will running races go through it's own post-911-level paranoia and closes in on itself?

It's too early perhaps to ponder on this question, but this event really affected me in a deep way. I hardly know any of the runners that was involved in that race, but as a fellow runner, this turn of event shocked me as well. My thoughts goes to all those who were affected by the event, though this may be nothing compared with the valiant effort of the security forces and medical personnel right there at ground zero. Trust me - if Boston is like only 100km away from where I am right now, I would have been there.

Be strong fellow Bostonian and runners.

#39 - MAKNA Founder's Run 2013 - Pre and Post

Hey-oh! Just got back from the race at Padang Merbok, and boy, do I have no story to share. So, let's get cracking...

Act 1 - Pre-Race

For a Friday afternoon drive, and a lunch break hour at that, the trip from Bangi to Petaling Jaya was rather smooth-flowing. The plan was to pick-up the race pack, then a Nasi Arab lunch in Gombak, then drive back to Bangi. But since the traffic was too kind to us, I changed my plan.

But first thing first...

Oh yeah... shiny forehead. All marathon champions have that. Yeah...

Apart from the bib number obviously, which came along with what they call it a ChampionChip - basically a timing-chip device - which considering how many other races have their timing-chip attached to the bib, this one feels rather 20th century-ish, the small paper bag also carries three packets of Salonpas medicated plaster, two packets of shampoo that I will never for the life of me use, and a number of coupons.

No complaints there.

Act 2 - Post Pre-Race

As we (Oh, forgot to mention that I went to the race pack collection with the housemate; the other two girls, apparently, I totally forgot to take into consideration. Ha!) were leaving the place, feeling very hungry, we drew up a list of places to go to have our lunch. Along the way, my attention was directed to a bunting -

"SportsDirect.com is having a stock clearance sale. And it's on today."

The housemate has announced earlier that he wanted to look for a new pair of running shorts for the race. So, off to Subang then.

Lunch! It's our lunch's pre-lunch!

Oh, sorry, that picture up there just had to barge right in the middle of things. But just look at it. Look at it! It's mini chicken drumet doused with buffalo sauce, chicken deep fried in batter, and some chicken mushroom thing in a bread thing. It's the chicken holy trinity.

Yeah, shiny forehead. You dig that don't ya...

And that drink that I'm having right there is called Pina Chillada. Yeah, it's the pansy's version of the Pina Colada. I know. But holy fuzzball schmoly guzzler that drink was a real kicker. (Note: the 'kick' comes from the generous amount of calories, not alcohol)

Lunch! It's our lunch's lunch!

As a side note, I ordered the starter plate, and the housemate picked the main course, which is the Fajita Trio. It has tender grilled steak, marinated grilled chicken and spicy garlic, and lime grilled prawns, all served with a generous serving of onions and bell peppers, with a side of tortilla bread. Soft, soft tortilla bread. Sounds delicious isn't it? Yeah, copied all that from the Chili's web page.

Awesome.

Act 3 - Post Race

This picture is now starting to prove it's jasa

First of all, this race was held at Padang Merbok, and the route they're using is exactly the same as the one with the MPIB Run, which means, I totally love it. If it's hygienic I'd lick it.

Not that it would be any less awkward...

Second of all, as usual, being a disciplined person that I am, I woke up at 3:30 a.m., cooked fried rice, had breakfast, showered and is ready to leave by 4:30 a.m. The housemate however, being the ever midnight oil burner himself, only stumbled to have shower by 5. Still, that was nothing.

So, after all said and done, we left the house at 5:30 a.m., which to my standard, is already considered late. The race starts at 7:00 a.m., granted yes, but I like a lot of prep and warm-up time before the race. For this race, the two girls, Lala and Ain, are riding in a different car, but we're supposed to meet up somewhere along the way. Now, that was the exact trouble that I'd really love to avoid...

We arrived at 1km away from the starting line exactly at 7 a.m. We had a late start.

Even worse, right before we run off with the rest of the 12km runners, the housemate announced that he had to use the toilet for a while. Fuck.

Yes.

Seeing that the last of the 12km runners have already left us on the farthest horizon, and the 7km runners are readying for their flag-off, and the housemate still nowhere to be seen, I'm resigned to accept the fact that:

No.1 We'll be flagged off with the Fun Runners

No.2 I'm not having my race at my beloved route today

Fuck.

And, the finisher's t-shirt is cotton. And there is no finisher's medal. Poop.

Since I started with the Fun Runners, I thought I just have to make this run a Fun Run as well. Caught up with Ain after 1km, and with her running at a predictably slow pace, it just kind of seals the deal once and for all. I'm definitely not having a race today.

And Lala this time around didn't win anything. So - Haha!

Act 4 - Post Post Race

I was starving, yes. I'll make it straight forward this time around. That up there is Nasi Goreng Ayam. It's basically just a plate of Nasi Ayam, but the rice is fried. Decent meal, agreeable price, and good service, it's easy to love it. Not highly recommended, but if you ever drive by around Bangi area, drop by the PKNS building in Seksyen 8 Bandar Baru Bangi, second floor, behind the escalator, you will see the food court. Look for stall no.4. It's the only one with a noticeable long queue. It's easy to spot it.

Not that it's a very big food court to begin with.

There - that's the one.

#38 - Dark Side of the Moon is 40 years old

"I've been mad for fucking years, absolutely years, been over the edge for yonks, been working me buns off for bands..."
-Speak to Me-

To be brutally honest, never realized that there was a sung/spoken part in the (largely silent) opening track "Speak to Me" until I came upon this website. I never even knew about the existence of that particular website until, literally, two minutes ago. But anyway, the March of 2013 marks the 40th anniversary of Pink Floyd's most important, well-known, and weirdly still very relevant, album called Dark Side of the Moon.

I feel like I have to post something thoughtful for this one.

(Takes a deep breath)

OK - here we go...

It's a mildly humid night, tonight. The only wind that is blowing is coming from a stand fan behind me, slightly to my left. Seated in front of my PC with an almost-empty glass of water, with "Time" playing in the background - "It's a very thoughtful, and yet inspiring song" - I thought to myself.

Flashback to 2003, it was my first time listening to Dark Side, so yes, admittedly, I'm not going to even slightly pretend that I know shit about what the album stands for. What I do know, though, was that a copious amount of drug was involved in the making of this album - and possibly in the proceedings of millions of lives who listened to this album on their big hi-fi stereo, in their living room, lying down, stoned, on the floor.

It must have been quite an experience.

Anyway, back in 2003, I still remembered clearly this one class, Poetry with Miss Adibah, the pseudo-bitch uber-feminist lecturer, where we were given a group assignment where we had to come up with our own poem, and then we have to read it in front of the class.

Neither one of us remembered anything about the assignment, right until the moment when we were in the class and the lecturer announced: "Okay, so we'll begin with the ladies group first to recite their poetry".

It was one of my 'oh shit' moment.

Luckily at the time I kind of remembered by heart almost the entirety to the lyrics of the song "Time". With time fast ticking away, I put pen to paper...

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day 

You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way. 

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town 

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way. 

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain. 

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today. 

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you. 

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. 

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking 

Racing around to come up behind you again. 

The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older, 

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death. 

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time. 

Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines 

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way 

The time is gone, the song is over, 

Thought I'd something more to say.

Much, much later when I look back at it, the irony of it kind of stings. I mean I can safely say that 78 percent of my time back in university I have spent it on doing meaningless things that at the end of it amounts to nothing. Not that I did not enjoy it, far from it for me to regret it - but if I could have done something else more worthwhile back then, I would have certainly done it. Back then, when my family is still living in Subang Jaya, a place that is remarkably bleak and weary from what I can recall, I was still trying to come to terms with who I actually am.

I looked around me and I see everyone else is... normal. And here I am, wallowing in self-pity, and self-doubt, and self-hatred, all mixed together in equal measure.

Us, and them 

And after all we're only ordinary men.

And speaking of Subang, I still remember my old mate Pa'an, who remarked to me, aware of the bleakness of his surrounding as well, that Subang "is just like Manchester".

Manchester - because at the time we were both listening to a particular Mancunian band with equally bleak song called "Powder Blue". Not because any of us had actually been to Manchester.

What moved me when I listen to Dark Side of the Moon? Well, to put it in a way that a young listener such as me can only fully grasp, by comparison with the band's other releases, content-wise, I'd say it's not the most outstanding of all. The arrangement isn't what I would reckon to be memorable, as opposed to, say, "Shine on You, Crazy Diamond" or "Echoes". From start to finish, they are more sort of lukewarm and 'just about there'. But what made it significant though is in the theme. It's very grand, larger than life, and very 'out-there'. It's the kind where people high on marijuana goes "Woah, dude!"

From what I understand, it was more of a joke rather than the real thing. Not that I have tried smoking weed.

Breathe, breathe in the air. 

Don't be afraid to care. 

Leave but don't leave me. 

Look around and choose your own ground. 

Long you live and high you fly 

And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry 

And all you touch and all you see 

Is all your life will ever be.

On a gentle note, David Gilmour lets the listener in with these assuring opening line (refer above), like the way a father would whisper into the ears of his newborn son/daughter, welcoming him/her into the world. Then as the note soars into the second verse, the flow was interrupted with a dizzying synthesizer line, harrying the listener along random clips of female announcer announcing flights and distorted evil laughter, before it ends with a boom. Then came a masterpiece:

Well, yeah, the video is kind of shitty, with all that flashing colours and still pictures expanding and contracting and countless reference to the band and the album (the pyramid is one), and the endless stream of pictures of all shapes and sizes of clocks - okay 70's video clips, we get it, this song has the word time in it.

But if you look beyond the cheesy video clip and pay attention to the song, you will be greeted with what I would say one of the best song (ever) from the most important album of our lifetime. "Us and Them" is the second best song (ever).

"And I am not frightened of dying, any time will do, I 
don't mind. Why should I be frightened of dying? 
There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime."
-The Great Gig in the Sky-

Back in 2002 if I'm not mistaken, there was a Malaysian post rock band called Damn Dirty Apes, and they did an interview in the long-gone music magazine Tone where they describe their debut album Ape Kill Ape as the current generation's version of Dark Side of the Moon.

The only thing I could think of at the time was: "how silly of them. Nobody can ever recreate Dark Side of the Moon. Not even Pink Floyd themselves. It's a special moment that happened once, and forever remembered in a lifetime". Thank you Roger Waters, David Gilmour, Richard Wright, and Nick Mason, and Alan Parsons, and everybody else who was involved in the making of this album.

It is truly spectacular.

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear 

You shout and no one seems to hear. 

And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes 

I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

P/S: I'm just guessing that these words in the song "Brain Damage" is a reference to Syd Barret. Just a hunch.

#37 - Sigur Rós new single Brennistein

Received an update e-mail from Sigur Rós this morning where they announced that a new album (already?) will be released worldwide on June 17 called Kveikur. Pre-orders can be placed here. More importantly, this would be their first release as a trio after Kjartan Sveinsson officially left the band (Reddit AMA, 24 Jan 2013). The first single accompanying the release is entitled "Brennistein" - and it's... unusual.

Unusual for Sigur Rós. Not that their music has not been unusual to begin with.



I'm having a mixed feeling about this release. For one, I still haven't yet fully properly 'listened' to Valtari. The thoroughly sparse, cinematic, beat-less album, though a welcoming return to Sigur Rós of old, proves to be quite a terribly slow grower to me. It's like sitting in front of a potted plant in the front yard watching the flower bloom - I'm hardly that patient for that kind of stuff.

Secondly, in the build-up to the release of Valtari, Georg Hólm did mention about the new album having "more electronic stuff than before". A number of quick listen to the album does not reveal a lot of electronic stuff. They were more orchestral, actually.

"Brennistein" however, is very electronic, from the outset. It's very metallic, brutal (to say the least), and does not share any of the operatic quality of  Sigur Rós's previous works. If I am to stretch it a bit, I'd say it has a closer semblance to Von, the band's debut album. Not necessarily dark and sombre, but metallic nevertheless.

This new musical direction could work. I guess.

#36 - Raptor Watch 2013

Friday, 8 March 2013, 6:00 p.m.

Just finished my tea break at McD (twister fries for the win!), I glanced at my watch - it says 18:08 hours. Yeah, I'm wearing the Casio wristwatch. Very helpful this watch is to me whenever I'm going for a run because it has this feature that allows me to stop time at will. Kind of like Doctor Who.

Not that I've actually seen the show.

But whenever other people turn to me wanting to know the time, that's when I actively hate the watch, and then the time-asker. "Fuck it now I have to deduct eight minutes from the time on my watch to give the correct time reading", I grumbled quietly under my breath.

Friday, 8 March 2013, 6:30 p.m.

Okay NOW I'm in a rushing mode, having spent a good ten minutes trying to decide which Nature Valley granola bar should I buy. Apparently I made the mistake of undermining the power of surprise of Friday evening traffic jam.

"Surprise!"

"Gah! Kill it! Kill it with fire!"

You see, I have promised to my two carpoolers that we will be meeting at the KL Sentral at 6:50 p.m. With ten minutes to go, I am still stuck somewhere in Kajang. I had my brief moment of road rage.

I'm not very proud of it.

Saturday, 9 March 2013, 9:00 a.m.

PNB Ilham Resort - ground zero. So I see that the number of booths for this year has slightly increased. That is good. But because of it the Nature Guides booth was slightly hidden. That is not good.

After finish setting up our booth, the duty roster was put up - the lead guide's name was put first, then the sweeper have the freedom to choose with whom they want to team up with. Since my name was on number ten, I thought my first trip would start somewhere around the region of 11 a.m. or so.

Boy was I wrong.

Saturday, 9 March 2013, 6:15 p.m.

First day of the event and I had to do three trips - the first was with the form 4 students from the Royal Military College. Very good kids. Then it was another group of students from Melaka (Notre Dame school). Then it was the walk-in group - six adults and four children.

Worn out and sweaty after a long day, I was only thinking of going back to the hotel and take a nice cold shower. I deserve it.

Azmir (one of the carpooler) announced that he will be joining Elena for a hike up the Batu Putih trail. I've never gone to that place before.

"I'm in".

The ten or so minutes hike was totally worth, even though my left knee was giving up. Once we were on top of the 'batu putih', I climbed down towards the edge of the cliff where it is looking out westward towards the Sumatra island.

I sat down on one of the white stone and soon enough, swiftlets flew one after another right in front of my face, coming from left to right.

Mother nature is awesome.

Saturday, 9 March 2013, 9:00 p.m.

As usual with all dinner events where some Dato' VIP has to officiate the event, everyone else who is actually doing something, breaking sweat and their own back, to ensure the success of the event, has to patiently sit at the table, having a (presumably forced) discourse while the food that is already served on the buffet table gets cold.

They made us wait. They - the people who are not even contributing an ounce of anything worthwhile to the cause - have the gall to make the rest of the world wait for them.

If not because I was too lazy to go out and get a better dinner anywhere else, I would've just said no

Sunday, 10 March 2013, 10:00 a.m.

Final day - final thoughts. I got to do only one trip for the day, but this time it was a group of adults (Specifically, staffs from uh, some cement company) It was nice to finally get to talk with fellow adults after so long been talking to half-wits - non-adults, sorry.

They are a far more appreciative crowd, I can remark. Which I really appreciate. A lot. I wonder - if only college students can be just as appreciative as these adults are...

Oh, I just cannot be outdone by a suave raptor on a whiteboard.

Thank you Raptor Watch 2013 for the experience!

Also, a note of thanks to Elena Shim for some of the pictures.