No - that exasperated smile is because of the bright sun, not because trying to withhold a boner
Four hours before the race...
As usual, my routine on race day, I woke up at 3 a.m. to prepare myself a light breakfast. I made a mental note to myself right before I go to bed: "five more slices of Gardenia bread, and one-fifth of the chunky peanut butter - that's enough breakfast for a 10km run".
After having a morning shower (which I have to note was not at all chilly despite the fact that it was raining that night - and incidentally, quite an unusual weather pattern we are having as of late isn't it?), I went to the kitchen. The peanut butter sandwich beckons.
Dun, dun, duuunnn...
But, as I was contemplating on how many peanut butter sandwich I should down that morning, I saw something, sitting dormant on the stove top.
Something delicious.
I peered into the kuali - it was sambal sardin. Looking at me with sultry eyes and her sexy lips spelling out "come and hit me, baby". I know where did this voluptuous femme fatale came from - I know exactly whose job was this.
It's the housemate's.
I didn't know that femme fatale is French for a horrible-looking dump truck
But oh, anyway, I have to wake him up. This race, the Dragon Back Run 2013 was all about him - it's his first running race, his first foray into running, number two, and losing weight, number one. Whatever - at least it's the healthier option.
It's half past three - I knocked on his room door. After a few while, he stumbled out of his room, looking ghastly.
"I wasn't even sleeping" he murmured.
This is not a good start...
No, not them. They are excellent.
Two hours before the race...
We drove to the Sup Urat Keting restaurant in Seksyen 7 where Lala and Ain were waiting for us. Along the way, the housemate announced something worrying - the reason why he can't get any sleep that night.
"I haven't taken any dump for the past three days", he announced.
To run the entire 10km distance with all that turd in your stomach, this is definitely not going to end well.
And all the while I keep on thinking of this guy.
I'm starting to think that the housemate's first ever running race is not going to be the most memorable to him, which is not good. I've seen him genuinely excited in the build-up to the race day, going for a training every single day. If there is a loving God, this should not have happened.
Luck has it that two shops down from the restaurant, there's a 7 Eleven. "Go get the laxative", I implored.
So he bought one. With laxative bought (but not consumed), now on to the matter of getting some sleep...
Forty minutes before the warm-up session starts...
Again, with me behind the wheels, I have to stress that I have absolutely no idea where on planet Earth Sekolah Kebangsaan Meru 2 was. But I knew how to get to Meru. Before we left house, I did saved a map to the place on my iPod.
According to the Google Map, at the four-way junction, coming from Klang, I have to take the right-hand turn and drive straight.
Oh boy - how deeply did I misjudge the excellent common sense of Malaysia's road engineers.
I only knew later, after coming home from the race, that right after the traffic light, the main road called Jalan Paip (the one which will get us to the school) diverges from the left of that other road that sprouted from the traffic light which was another road called Jalan Kenanga, which, much to our surprise, progresses from smoothly-surfaced, to the rough outback, to the surface of the moon.
Still, that's nothing.
First, right after the traffic light we saw some shophouses. Fine. Then we saw a few kampung houses on our left. Still fine. Then the road just suddenly stop. What lays ahead was a dirt road with lalang on both left and right. There's a right junction that goes to a factory.
I drove ahead.
There's a pin drop silence in my car. There was a Muslim graveyard on our left, and a Chinese graveyard on our right. And up ahead it's totally dark. Just miles and miles of graveyard. All of our logic dictated that a school cannot exist beyond all this final resting ground.
This can't be it. Has Google Map got it wrong this time?
Long story short - we came upon a roadside stall that opened very early in the morning, had the housemate asked the makcik from the stall where the school was, and quickly drove there. We made it - we made it just in time for the warm-up session, and in one piece.
That's the triumphant stance of a guy who three hours ago, drove into a graveyard
The race...
A few days prior to the race, the name Dragon Back Run got me thinking - it's not grammatical. Alas, on the race day itself I only learn of the reason why - it is a tribute to the (steep) hilly route. Imagine running on the back of a dragon.
I know - I can't, too.
Anyway, for this race, I was adamant that I'm not going to take this race seriously, and that I'm here just to give encouragement and support to the housemate. It is, after all, his first running race. Huh - why does it feel like deja vu?
The first 3.5km of the race we maintained a leisurely 7min/km pace, many times reminding the housemate that there will be eight hill climb overall from start to finish. The first hill we encountered wasn't very steep. No sweat.
But then, as we go down the first hill, and as we turn into the left-hand corner, there it was: standing right in front of us, looking very intimidating. I let out a laugh: "This very much reminds me of UPM". Holy shit balls, it was steep, and a very long climb at that.
"So, this is only the second inclination. There will be six more to come"
Holy shit balls, this dragon back needs an Ogawa or something.
The Ogawa massage chair - it will iron out your crooked back
Still, I'm not too worried of myself. I'm doing pretty good. If I open the tap a bit and run at my usual 5min/km pace, then I would find myself in a big trouble. Eight hill climb is not my biggest issue here - it's the steepness of each one of them - except inclination number one and eight, which was mild.
Oh, and did I mention that this is also Lala and Ain's first running race as well? Because this piece of information too is important because...
After the race...
I finished in 50th - my very late sprint to the finishing line starting at the 7km mark did not bear much fruit. The housemate finished in 91st - a commendable finish for someone who is, well, fat for his frame. Haha. Ain was the slowest of the four of us, finishing at one hour and thirty something minutes.
And as for Lala - despite taking over her with only 1.5km left, and leaving her behind for a good two minutes at the finishing line, she finished in third.
Third, for crying out loud. That's a podium finish. Damn it. I've been running competitively for two solid years and I've never got anywhere near the podium.
Alas, it was an enjoyable race for the four of us. Yup - I think I'll come back again Meru.
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